


I wish I remembered

by Majush



Category: Phan, Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Hangover, M/M, Party, Phanfiction, Playlist Live, Playlist Live 2015
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 01:47:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3710284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Majush/pseuds/Majush
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is set up during Playlist live 2015.</p><p>Basically: After a party, Dan wakes up naked next to Phil but doesn´t remember the THING which happened between them during the night . But does Phil remember? How will Dan deal with this situation?</p><p>I also want to say thank you to my amazing beta: filip-lestur.tumblr.com, thank you so much! :))</p><p>Enjoy this little story and please, let me know what do you think about it :)) thank you ;)</p><p>My tumblr: my-relaxation.tumblr.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	I wish I remembered

“Fuck!“ Dan groaned and put a hand across his face. He felt like he had a desert in his mouth and when he licked his dry lips he could still taste alcohol from last night. He couldn’t remember much, but he didn’t really try. That would only make his terrible headache even worse.

Dan slowly opened eyes, and after he became accustomed to daylight, he realized that he definitely wasn’t in his hotel room. The doors, the window, and even the closet were in different spots.

“Shit,” Dan whispered angrily and looked around. As he expected, next to him was none other than Phil. Dan nervously gulped. It wasn’t the first time they had slept together in the same bed, but it had been a while, so he was allowed to freak out a bit.

They used to do it a lot actually, especially when they started living together. It was just more comfortable than moving to their own beds after watching a movie. But after THAT video was published, they slowly stopped; it felt too weird for them. Mainly because fans thought they were a thing, which wasn’t true.

Dan carefully sat up, and after he uncovered himself, he almost screamed from shock! Only the fact that Phil was sleeping next to him stopped him from screaming.

 _I´m naked!_ Dan thought, horrified. _I´m naked!_

He tried to remember exactly what had happened last night, and after a few seconds of hard focusing, he remembered a kiss between him and Phil. Other than that, his mind came up blank. That was really worrying, and after a while of sitting in a trance, Dan hesitantly lifted Phil’s covers. The younger boy sighed in relief when he noticed Phil’s boxers.

But still, that didn’t change the fact that they had had sex together. Phil suddenly moved and Dan stopped breathing for a second, but when it was clear that his friend was still asleep, he quietly got out of the bed and went to take a quick shower and put his clothes on. He really needed to clear his head.

+++

When Dan came out of the shower, he found that Phil was already in the kitchen making a pot of coffee.

“Good morning.” Phil smiled at him, but Dan only nodded and sat next to him. He wondered about how he could start the conversation about last night. It wasn’t something they could just brush under the carpet. At least, not Dan. He would be lying if he said that he didn’t feel anything for Phil.

“Are you alright?” Phil asked, clearly noticing Dan’s mood.

“Y-yeah,” Dan cleared his throat. “I just feel like we should talk about last night.”

“Oh...” Phil looked surprised and maybe a little uncomfortable. “It wasn’t a big deal, right? We’ve done it before.”

“Before?” Dan was confused, his groggy mind being slower than usual.

“It’s okay. Just forget it.” Phil shrugged. “Do you want a coffee?”

“Sure,” Dan answered, distracted. He couldn’t stop thinking about Phil’s reaction. It’s okay. Phil used to say that when they did something that was kind of crossing the friendship line, like hugs that lasted too long, intense stares, cuddling during a movie, sleeping in the same bed, even small kisses for fuck’s sakes! Phil always said that it’s okay when they started thinking too much about it.

But this wasn’t just slightly crossing the line, it removed the line completely. Dan couldn’t understand why would Phil say that. Only if…

“Do you remember everything that happened last night?” Dan asked with lighter tone.“Because I hardly remember anything.”

“I have few black holes too,” Phil laughed and put a coffee in front of Dan. “Hate those, it’s so weird.”

“Tell me about it,” Dan nodded.

So that meant that Phil didn’t remember, just like Dan. And since he didn’t see Dan naked, he thought that they had just innocently slept in the same bed. Nothing sexual. Nothing that would make him reevaluate their relationship. Dan hated himself for it, but part of him wanted Phil to remember. He wanted to talk about it, try it maybe. Oh god, why was he such an idiot?!

“Drink it,” Phil caressed him on the back and Dan leaned into the touch. It was like his body reacted by itself. “I’m going to take shower and then we can watch a movie if you want. We have a lot of time until our panel.”

+++

Dan was distracted and emotional the whole day. He tried to enjoy fans and everything, but he couldn’t help that his mind always came back to Phil.

What if he told him? What would Phil say? Would they work in a relationship? They kind of had been in a relationship already, except they lacked physical contact. On second thought, last night was physical as hell. Dan wouldn’t admit it, but the fact that he didn’t remember last night also bothered him because he wanted to know how sex with Phil could feel.

He caught himself imagining it like four times a day, and Phil certainly didn’t make it easier for him by wearing his red plaid t-shirt, black tight jeans, his hair on point, and constantly flashing smiley faces to Dan. Yeah, that definitely didn’t help. Now Dan was not only distracted and emotional, but horny too.

He especially couldn’t run away from the image of them kissing last night. That was the only thing he remembered, and it was a pretty blurry memory, but still hella hot. Fuck! Dan never wished he would remember something so bad!

“Hello to my two favorite boys!” Louise interrupted Dan’s thoughts and sat next to Phil in the small coffee shop that they had managed to sneak off to.

“Hi Louisee,” Phil said in one of his many funny voices, and Dan couldn’t help but smile.

“How was your day?” Dan asked.

“Pretty exhausting,” Louise admitted, “but still awesome. I’ve met a lot of fans and youtubers. It has been a great day. What about you guys?”

“Pretty much the same,” Dan said, catching Phil’s eyes on him.

“Except Dan was really quiet during the day.” Phil turned his attention to Louise again. “Even just before you walked in. It was like he was somewhere else entirely.”

“Oh really?” Louise asked with interest, and Dan prayed for his life. “Is it possible that our Dan is in love with someone? Did you finally meet the one?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Dan quickly denied, but felt his ears go pink. “I just have a hangover from yesterday.”

“That just means it was a good party.” Louise winked and Phil laughed. “Which reminds me that there is another one tonight, and I’m expecting both of you.”

Dan looked with terror at Phil, but his friend just shrugged and pointed to Louise. “How could we decline her invitation?”

“Of course, we’ll be there.” Dan accepted his fate.

+++

As Dan expected, Phil was even more attractive when they went to the bar. Dan couldn’t stand it. In order to control himself, he didn’t even sit next to Phil when they arrived. Instead, he sat across from him, which didn’t end up being a good idea. He had to constantly remind himself that he probably shouldn’t look at his best friend with thirst in his eyes.

When Louise asked him for a dance, he gladly said yes almost without thinking. Anything was better than awkwardly watching his drink and trying to avoid Phil’s gaze. Dan didn’t know how long he had been dancing, but when he came back to the table, there were only a few people left. He, once again, sat across from Phil, ignoring the weird look Phil was giving him.

“Hey!” Tyler suddenly yelled into Dan’s ear. “Want a drink Danny-boy? You bought me one yesterday, so I should return the favor.”

“Nah,” Dan shook his head. “I´m trying not to have another black out tomorrow morning. Thanks though.”

“Good for you,” Tyler approved and danced away. Dan tried to join conversations after that with Cat, but his stupid eyes were still drawn to Phil.

He kind of capitulated though, and let his looks last a bit longer than he should. What surprised him the most was that this time, Phil was looking back at him. Whenever their gazes met, Phil just smiled, and Dan felt those stupid butterflies in his stomach. What was he doing? He wasn’t a fucking teenager anymore!

As the night continued, theirs eyes were locked together more and more often for longer amounts of time. After one of these glances, Dan had to turn away. The looks were reminding him of something. Phil used to look at him like that a lot before. Before that stupid video prank. What scared Dan the most was that Phil was usually looking at him like that before they did something “not-just-friendly” together.

When Dan looked at Phil again, he motioned with his head to the seat next to him. Dan surprisingly decided to go for it. What’s the worst thing that could happen? He sat down next to Phil, maybe a little too close, but Phil didn’t seem bothered by it. In fact, he calmly continued his conversation with Jack and casually put his arm around Dan’s waist.

 _Cool, okay_. Dan thought. _Just act cool, everything is fine. I definitely don’t want to get all over him!_

When Phil started gently making circles on Dan’s lower back, Dan had to bite his lips. What was Phil doing? This definitely wasn’t usual for them, at least not anymore.

“How was your dance with Louise?” Phil finally decided to give attention to him.

“You know me,” Dan laughed nervously. “I’m not a very coordinated person, but it was fun.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” Phil laughed, and Dan’s heart did that flippy over thing.

“Were you stalking us?” Dan nudged him with false disapproval.

“Just you,” Phil said simply and looked deep into Dan’s eyes. That was it for Dan. He somehow knew that Phil wasn’t joking. As he thought that they were going to kiss, a group of people crashed into their table, with Tyler in the lead.

“Oh my god!” Tyler screamed. “This party is great, but I feel like we need a time out.”

“I thought you don’t need time outs,” Louise laughed next to him.

“Just few minutes,” Tyler waved his hand, and the whole group sat down next to them.

Dan was frustrated watching how they all made themselves comfortable. This wasn’t fair, they completely ruined a moment he almost had with Phil. But as Dan thought about it more, it probably wouldn’t be a great idea to kiss in such public place. But were they going to kiss at all? Or was it just Dan imagining things?

“Do you wanna go back to the hotel?” Phil suddenly whispered into his ear, and it sent chills down the whole of Dan’s body. Well, it was pretty safe to say that he wasn’t just imagining this. Holy shit! Was this really happening?!

“Y-yeah,” Dan somehow managed to answer, and licked his lips. It didn’t go without Dan´s noticing that Phil tracked this movement.

+++

They were walking back to the hotel so close to each other that their hands were constantly touching. As they entered the elevator, Dan’s nerves were on edge. The whole space around them was filled with tension. Dan really wanted Phil to make the first move because he felt like he couldn’t move, even when he wanted to kiss Phil more than anything else in that moment.

“White suits you,” Phil casually relaxed on the wall next to him.

“Really?” Dan laughed nervously and checked his white t-shirt. “Maybe I should wear it more often.”

“Maybe.” Phil turned to him with his whole body.

“Soo, the party tonight,” Dan felt the need to waffle. “It was pretty good right? I mean-“

“Dan,” Phil gently interrupted him and took his hand.

“What?” Dan finally looked at him and squeezed Phil’s hand. Phil was hesitantly watching their hands for a moment, and he then looked into Dan’s eyes, as if he was asking permission for whatever he wanted to do. Dan decided that he really didn’t want to wait anymore, and finally did what he wanted to do all night. He placed a kiss onto Phil’s lips. Phil reacted quickly, and the gentle kiss became more urgent, more what they both really wanted.

When the elevator stopped, they pulled away from each other and Dan left out frustrated sigh. Phil hurried into the corridor, dragging Dan along with him.

“I don’t have keys,” Phil said apologetically when they arrived in front of the door to their hotel room, and let his hand slide across Dan’s spine.

“Phil,” Dan moaned and tried desperately to find his own keys. “Don´t tell me you forgot again.”

“Sorry,” Phil giggled, and suddenly Dan felt his lips on the back of the neck.

Fortunately, Dan finally fished his keys out of somewhere in his pocket, and shakily tried to put them into the keyhole, but Phil was extremely successful with distracting him. He managed to open the door on the fifth try.

“Fuck,” Dan cursed when they stepped inside, and their lips collided in a deep kiss. Dan let his hand wander over Phil’s hot body while Phil pulled him even closer and put one of his hands into Dan’s hair.

Dan didn’t know how they managed get into Phil’s room without falling over, but as soon as they did, he found himself lying on the bed with Phil on top of him. When his friend lowered down and started kissing him down the neck, a little moan escaped out of Dan’s mouth. He thrust his hips towards Phil’s and could feel that he definitely wasn’t the only one aroused.

When Phil started unbuttoning his t-shirt, Dan was a bit surprised, but didn’t complain. He wanted this; if he was sure about anything, it was this.

“No.” Phil suddenly sat up and ran a hand through hair. “What are we doing? We shouldn’t.”

“Phil...” Dan also sat up and felt that the good mood was gone.

“It’s wrong,” Phil said, clearly frustrated.

“Why?” Dan asked quietly.

“We are best friends.” Phil shook his head. “We can’t just sleep together. This-this isn’t right.”

“Well, too bad. We already did,” Dan said angrily. He was pissed at Phil, but mostly at himself. Why did he let this happen? Did he really think that Phil would like to have something with him that was more than friendship and sex?!

“What do you mean?” Phil asked with wide eyes.

“We had sex last night, okay?” Dan yelled at him.

“No,” Phil looked confused.

“Yes we did,” Dan said again, cringing. “You just don’t remember.”

“Dan, I really don’t think–“ Phil started with a calm voice that pissed Dan off even more.

“I woke up next to you naked!” Dad finally admitted. “How do you explain that?”

“It wasn’t like that,” Phil quickly tried to explain. “You just fell asleep on my bed, and I’m pretty sure that you were dressed. You had to undress during the night, maybe you were hot or something, but nothing happened between us. I would remember, yes I have few black holes from the bar but when we came back into hotel I was almost sober.”

“Shit,” Dan closed his eyes. He felt sick.

“That’s why you were so weird during the day,” Phil understood, and left out a little laugh.

“Glad you’re having fun,” Dan felt like something hit him in the gut when Phil laughed at him. He could feel that he was going to cry.

“Dan, wait!” Phil caught him by the hand when Dan tried to leave. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just thought-“

“What?!” Dan interrupted him with harsh tone.

“I just thought you were being weird because of that kiss we had last night,” Phil sighed. “I thought you were regretting it and were possibly angry because of it, and even when I thought all of that, I tried it again today, because I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

“So,” Dan took a shaky, deep breath, “you’re saying that you enjoyed it and want more?

“Isn’t that obvious?” Phil laughed, somewhat nervously. “I mean, our relationship was never really just on the friendship line. Especially not at the beginning.”

“I thought about us a lot back then,” Dan admitted, refusing to meet Phil’s eyes. “but after the Valentine’s Day video prank, we kind of stopped doing these things, and I would never say that you-“

“Did you ever wonder why I said that I didn’t want the video to be published?” Phil asked him carefully.

“I thought you didn’t want to be associated with me in that way in front of our fans,” Dan said truthfully. “After youtube had a meltdown and un-privated that video, you got really angry and sad.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Phil nodded. “I was angry and sad about it, but it wasn’t because I was ashamed of what the fans would think. The truth is that after I recorded it, I realized that except a few things that were said in the video, I really felt something for you. I got scared, and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. When it got published, it was like it took something from me. My real feelings about you were available for basically everybody to see. I felt exposed and vulnerable.”

“Your real feelings?” Dan asked slowly.

“I love you,” Phil said after a while, and Dan felt something warm growing inside of him. “I always have.”

“I love you too.” Dan met Phil’s eyes and smiled. “Why did it take us so long to admit?”

“Maybe because we’re both idiots,” Phil laughed and ran a palm over Dan’s hand.

“So,” Dan started. “Did we just agree that we are giving us a chance? Like, are we actually going to try dating?”

“I guess so,” Phil shrugged, and neither could help their wide smiles.


End file.
